The Plan
Early today was VERY hard. The big win is that I became aware of and identified a few patterns of thought that were essentially "broken", and I made progress towards fixing them.
For example, anything I think about, 25 - 50% chance that I'll go negative. I think or feel something bad in regards to ANY subject.
In June, that was probably around 1% chance of going negative, and I always saw the good in just about anything, which empowered me greatly.
...
It's fun identifying all the BS coming from my mind. 40,000 thoughts a day, and we make a choice to think about hardly any of them -- so they're not really YOU so much as your MIND. Your mind is just another muscle and you can choose how to apply it, same as using other muscles, there's a lot of control there.
So when the mind is shooting out 20,000 negative thoughts... even though you CHOOSE to think postively... it can be a lot of fun to laugh at some of the incredibly pointless, mind numbing, stupid negative thoughts that the mind thinks about. I didn't choose those thoughts, and they're crippling me, and all I have to do is go "that was a stupid thought, how would I change it to something worthy of being chosen?"
I can't help but laugh at some of the self-sabotage my mind is creating. It's just so stupid and makes no sense it humors me. And that gives me a lot of power over it.
So tomorrow, I'm going push harder, which will cause more resistance and more stupid thoughts, which will cause more laughter and fun. That's the plan.
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