Oct 10, 2012

List of Stand Up Comics

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_United_States_stand-up_comedians

JUST FIND 1 GOOD ONE AND YOU'VE GOT HOURS OF ENTERTAINMENT.  All you gotta do is find 1 and it's a good night.

Teh SAMPLA: I will listen to 1 minute of the most popular youtube video of each of these comedians.  If I stay longer than a minute, the comedian gets a (GOOD) rank, until I otherwise rate them in finer detail later.  If I don't stay, they get (DO NOT WANT).  Skipping deceased for now due to older material.

RANDOM FOUND COMICS (all are good):
Stephen Thomas
Jack Whitehall
Sam Morril
Alice Wetterlund


FROM COMEDY CLUB MENTIONS
Michael Loftus (sorta good)
Jeremy Hots (DO NOT WANT)
John caparulo
Adam ferrara (good)
Craig shoemaker
Justin willman (good)
Larry miller (good)
Gene pompa
Wil anderson
Maz jobrani (good)
Tom segura (Very GOOD)
Darren carter
K-von (good)
Erik Griffin (good, not super my type but very funny)
Derek hughes
K.t. tatara
Matt knudsen (actor, not much standup)
Kelly monteith
Mike wilson (good, favorited video of him doing comedy on a cruise... not sure if much content)
John caponera
Mark schiff (too old now, prob great in the 80s)
Mike destefano (not my kinda humor, talented tho)
Clinton jackson (not my kinda humor, talented tho)
Tom papa (very good)
TJ Miller (good)
Jasper Redd
Nick griffin (meh, fairly good)
Heath hyche
Sam Morril (good)
Colin jost
Robert
Jay larson
B.J. novak
Tim gaither
Don friesen
Wil shriner
Scott henry
Jesse case
Martin moreno
Mike siegel
Geoff keith
Jim gaither



FROM WIKI
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May 10, 2012

FULL MOVIES ON YOUTUBE / and elsewhere

It can be hard to find the full movies on youtube, as they tend to not be searchable.  But click on any of the ones below and you'll find many others in the related vids section.

Scary Movie 3: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8t6yAifYZUw&feature=related
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Apr 9, 2012

Incredibox

Make awesome songs with a few drag and drops... props to Bryan for showing me this.

http://www.incredibox.fr/en/#/application

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Mar 20, 2012

I Am A Salesman

Copy and pasted poem...

I Am a Salesman

I am proud to be a salesman because more than any other man, I and millions of others like me, built a better world.

The man who builds a better mousetrap - or a better anything - would starve to death if he waited for people to beat a pathway to his door. Regardless of how good, or how needed, the product or service might be, it has to be sold.

“Eli Whitney was laughed at when he showed his cotton gin. Edison had
to install his electric light free of charge in an office building before anyone would even look at it. The first sewing machine was smashed to pieces by a Boston mob. , People scoffed at the idea of railroads. They thought that even travelling thirty miles an hour would stop the circulation of the blood! McCormick strived for fourteen years to get people to use his reaper. Westinghouse was considered a fool for stating that he could stop a train with wind. Morse had to plead before ten Congresses before they would even look at his telegraph.

The public didn’t go around demanding these things; they had to be sold!

They needed thousands of salesmen, trailblazers, pioneers, people who could persuade with the same effectiveness as the inventor could invent. Salesmen took these inventions, sold the public on what these products could do, taught customers how to use them, and then taught businessmen how to make a profit from them.”

As a salesman I’ve done more to the world what it is today than any other person you know. I was just as vital in your great-great grandfather’s day as I am in yours, and I’ll be just as vital in your great-great-grandson’s day. I have educated more people; created more jobs; taken more drudgery from the labourer’s work; given more profits to businessmen; and have given more people a fuller and richer life than anyone in history. I’ve dragged prices down, pushed quality up, ‘and made it possible for you to enjoy the comforts and luxuries of cars, radios, electric refrigerators, televisions, and double glazed homes and buildings. I've healed the sick, given security to the aged, and put thousands of young men and women through college. I’ve made it possible for inventors to invent, for factories to hum, and for ships to sail the seven seas.

How much money you find in your pay envelope next week, and whether in the future you will enjoy the luxuries of pre-fabricated homes, stratospheric flying airplanes, and a new world of jet propulsion and atomic power, depends on me. The loaf of bread that you bought today was on a baker’s shelf because I made sure that a farmer’s wheat got to a mill, that the mill made the wheat into flour, and that the flour was delivered to your baker.

Without me the wheels of industry would come to a grinding halt. And with that, jobs, marriages, politics, and freedom of thought would be a thing of the past. I AM A SALESMAN and I’m both proud and grateful that as such I serve my family, my fellow man, and my country.
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Feb 25, 2012

Apocalypse > Zombie Apocalypse > Vampires > Zombies

It may be the most wide-spread type of fantasy in society: An Apocalypse. How do I know? The fact that when you really stop to think about it, you realize there's been more sci fi / fantasy films based on it than any other sci fi / fantasy topic... as you'll see in this conversation...

James: world war z is a zombie movie coming out this year with a $125,000,000 budget starring brad pitt and likely going to end up being a trilogy

proving once and for all that zombies are more awesome than vampires

thegoldknight: lol

or vampires just have to come up with $250 million budget

James: ya i dunno if zombies are more awesome than vampires but i do know 1 thing

there's no films featuring a legit "vampire apocalypse"

and based on movies like armageddon, apocalypse now, deep impact, the day after tomorrow, pretty much all alien invasion movies, and pretty much all zombie movies...

people are big on the apocalypse thing

THAT'S why there's so much interest in global warming... I totally get it now

i dont think christianity would be so popular without the famous rapture and it's end of times theory

my god, even star wars, and star trek were full of apocalypse type scenarios, and battlestar galactica was built upon a post-apocalyptic scenario!

This all explains how National Geographic can get away with airing the show "Doomsday Preppers"
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Jan 10, 2012

I'm Actually Doing Good

For a while now I've been dominated by looking at all the things NEGATIVE. My mistakes, my bad luck (between getting major motivational let downs in business and getting sick and bothered by family), my problems. That's all I've been thinking about for a while, and that perspective has truly paralyzed me.

Recently I've actually identified with being a deranged loser, someone who tends to go crazy and lose sense of reality, who does wrong, who disappoints, hurts others, hurts himself, is selfish and distant, a bad influence on the world.

Today I've had to face this perspective, and get the FACTS sorted out.

In facing the facts, I've come to realize my current self-image, and my current perspectives on my business, are ACTUALLY wrong, and the perspective is what's haulting my progress in my business and my own self-development.

A more accurate perspective on myself is that of a flawed hero. I am one of the few truly good people: I encourage others, right wrongs, make people feel good and see the right things in life, I help people see their positives that they lose perspective in. I am a greatly loving son, which by itself negates the view that I'm a disappointing failure, I am a greatly generous friend, and people see me as a good force in their lives, which is why old friends seek me out and very few have pushed me away, whereas I'm usually the one that pushes others away. The reason is that I am liked because I am good.

I have made many mistakes, and I've put myself into a much worse position that could have been, and I've been very unlucky of late and of broken spirit. But there's no reason to let this sink me when there's so much opportunity and promise surrounding me, as I've also ascended myself to a great position in life.

The truth is that I will probably get a job soon, but that it cannot stop me, and that I will disappoint my family soon by refusing to go through college, but it's my life and their negative feelings are caused by their high expectations and their own perspectives, it's not my fault for living my life the way I want to.

The fact of the matter is that I am in a position that many would kill to be in. Even my neighbors envy me. The facts are...

-I have a profitable business that's a ripe fruit, all it needs is traffic, which is limitless in a world that has a 10% rate of serious insomnia, in an Internet that is doubling in size every 2 years.

-Even with a job, I won't be working 20% as normal like expected, I will maintain work at 40 - 60% of my normal rate, which will mean quick growth of my business now that I can focus nearly purely on traffic. This is due to a schedule keeping me on course and the fact that it's easier to get myself to work like that, as well as the next fact...

-I have taken my good circumstances in life and truly ascended myself. I have actually gotten myself to work consistently, for months at a time, at 50 hours per week, WITHOUT ANYONE MAKING ME DO IT. I managed this consistency by myself, I did it WITHOUT PAY, I can get myself to overcome incredibly daunting obstacles that stop ANYONE ELSE I KNOW. It took years to achieve this, major training and self-help growth, it took putting into practice some of the best training in existance for improving myself, but I did it, and I overcame obsticles that I didn't think possible to overcome, and then I LAUGHED at it, and took it to even higher levels of achievement. That is FACT -- it's not an opinion -- it's what actually happened, time and time again. So many times and so many obsticles, I can't even count them any more if I tried my hardest to do so for days, I'd never count them all.

-My future, my happiness now, and the way I affect the happiness of those around me is determined more by my attitude and actions than anything. If I go forward determined, happy, and full of awesome perspectives, my family won't worry so much knowing that I am enjoying my circumstances and that I am happy, my friends will seek my presence, and I will again overcome my obsticles and laugh at the circumstances. I will also see that with a job comes social opportunity, consistency with which to strengthen my work ethic (getting myself to work 1-2 hours after work is easy compared to getting myself to work 10 hours a day with NOTHING to keep myself on track), and a steady paycheck that will eliminate most of the feelings of chaos that de-motivate me the most.

-My mistakes of the past have always been amplified by 2 main factors: inexperience and weed. The fact is, I'm experienced now and will continue to grow ever larger as I have for years. The fact is, I've been doing better than ever to quit weed, and I have the best shot ever at going the longest I've ever gone without it, as I've already gone over 2 months and continue to refuse it despite depression and failure to achieve almost any work for weeks, showing true resolve to rid it from my life permanently for at least 1.5 years.

The facts, the reality, the true nature things reflect a good, grounded, sane, measured person who has made mistakes, but also has more potential than ever. Someone who isn't delusional, but instead is actually making solid choices and will undoubtedly succeed if keeping strong to their path. The facts say that my self image as a loser is wrong. The facts say the accurate image would be one of a flawed hero. Someone who took their circumstances and built a life with promise and ripe with opportunity.

College isn't necessary when knowledge of how to make profitable websites has proven itself fruitful, and I intend to take everyone's ideas that this is untrue and prove them wrong.

I'd say there's a good 50% chance that I'll be finally free and able to quit any job I get before 2013. And if it all goes wrong and I hit the wrong side of that coin flip, 2013 - 2014 will see my odds rise to 75%. I can't prove it, but I believe that too is a FACT.
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Dec 6, 2011

Christwire -- A HILARIOUS christian mockery site

http://christwire.org

Go visit to save yourself from your heathen sins and be with the grace of god, or go back to watching your child rape pornography and burn in the white hot fires of hell for eternity.
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Nov 21, 2011

make sure this video doesn't work on this web address. SLEEP MASTERY LAUNCHED!!!

 



If there is a delay, please allow the video a couple of minutes to load. For best performance, pause the video (after starting it) and allow it to download it's contents before watching.

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