Sep 1, 2016

WORD item - Will Never Let Relationship Emotions Drive The Bus

I give my word now and forever -

I will not let any emotions related to relationships, love, & attraction "drive the bus" when it comes to my decisions, choices, and actions.

It's okay to have CRAZY feelings.  But it's not okay to see them as "the truth" automatically.  These feelings aren't "always right" or even representing accurate information or my true wants, needs, and desires.  They appear that way at first and it would seem MANY people aggressively defend them as essential to the relationship without even questioning them.

I feel like I am programmed to do the same.

It's the same thing as not letting complaints influence you and drive your work eithic or not letting your justifications limit your potential.

So along the same lines, emotional reactions to any relationship, love, attraction related areas need to be regarded as what they are -- reactions -- and then I will think through what my true pre-determined ideas are for what I want in my relationship and if these emotions aid those things, hurt them, or don't apply.  I will think about how accurate they are and if they seem "crazy".  Then once I've thought it through and decided what I really want in the long term, I will CHOOSE an action.

I will not have a reaction and let it build and grow and rationalize itself - I will question it more deeply first and ask if it's really what I want and if it really holds up.  Is it supported on the most fundamental level, or does it boil down to "I feel therefore if they love me they'll honor my feeling."  I will see if it's foundation is truly granite, or if it simply appears to be but then breaks apart a little too easily when hammered.

That's proaction for you.  Kabbalah may have found the greatest single discipline you can have with regards to all areas of your life and happiness with their reaction vs. proaction training.  That would explain why they've been around so long.

Signed,
Jaimie Montague

Jun 20, 2016

Loyalty and Relationships

At the end of the day, all you have is your desire to be with your companion and their respect and desire to be with you as well.

Rules are great and all, but if you're having deeper problems with your relationship, those rules will break fairly easily.

Constant reinforcement and growth is the only way through.  The rules aren't going to matter much in the end.  So if the relationship needs to be redefined, redefine it -- don't try to hold to rules that won't hold up.  At the end of the day, you need to be working on the core, and the rules are built upon the foundation of that core as a tool for guidance.  That is all they are.